three things i learned from " being john malkovich " : when getting on the elevator for your first day of work on the 7 1/2th floor of a building , always bring your crowbar ; don't stand in the way of your wife's actualization as a man ; and , whenever entering a portal into the mind of another human being , wear old clothes , because , hey , it's muddy in there . 
 " being john malkovich " is the most original film to come down the pike in a very long time . 
wildly surrealistic , yet presented in a down-to-earth , funky style , this is the kind of movie that sticks in your head . 
after savoring the sheer inventiveness of the storyline , you roll around the wealth of ideas contained within it . 
from the ethics of relationships and politics of immortality to the very nature of identity itself , there's a lot to think about here . 
just don't forget to have fun . 
clearly , all parties involved in the making of the film certainly did , starting with writer charles kaufman . 
 " i wrote 'being john malkovich' without an outline , " he explains in the press notes , " blindly , with no sense of direction or purpose . 
it's important to me that i don't have a map before i start . 
this allows me to surprise myself , stay engaged , discover things , and , hopefully , allow the unconscious to surface . " 
spike jonze ( mark wahlberg's na ? ve buddy in " three kings " ) takes it from there . 
the white-hot director of the beastie boy's " sabotage , " an award-winning parody of '70s tv cop shows , as well as numerous other music videos and commercials , eschews typical mtv flash for his feature film debut . 
jonze wisely realized that a storyline this unusual is most effectively presented in a low-key style . 
his flat , matter-of-fact approach works perfectly . 
and then there's the cast . 
john cusack plays control freak craig schwartz , a street performer who periodically gets decked by parents objecting to his remarkably expressive , but decidedly erotic puppet shows . 
over the years , his marriage to obsessive pet store employee lotte ( cameron diaz ) has devolved . 
once passionate lovers , the two are now little more than courteous roommates . 
financially strapped , craig takes a job as an entry-level file clerk at lestercorp , located on the 7 1/2th floor of a manhattan building . 
navigating around dr . lester ( orson bean ) , his 105 year-old boss and floris ( mary kay place ) , lester's dotty secretary , craig tries to settle into his new position , but two things keep him distracted . 
first , there's the beautiful and imperious maxine ( catherine keener ) , who delights in tormenting craig over his obvious lust for her . 
and then there's the hole behind the file cabinet , which turns out to be a portal into the mind of actor john malkovich . 
craig learns that anyone who enters the portal gets whooshed into the subconscious of malkovich , where they can experience life from his point of view ( with enough concentration , you can even influence his actions ) . 
after 15 minutes , the visitor gets ejected and unceremoniously dumped in a ditch on the side of the new jersey turnpike . 
then things get a little weird . 
by the way , if you're concerned that i gave away too much of the plot , rest assured - - i barely scratched the surface . 
one of the most satisfying aspects of the fable is that kaufman is not content to simply milk laughs from his bizarre set-up . 
instead , he crawls into the dark premise as completely as craig crawls into malkovich , rummaging around and toying with the various philosophical implications of compromising another person's identity . 
he also examines the consequences of the malko-visits to craig , lotte , maxine and , of course , john malkovich himself . 
the performances are superb . 
malkovich ( best known to mainstream audiences for his work in " dangerous liaisons , " " in the line of fire , " and as head psychopath in the guilty-pleasure " con air " ) tweaks his own image in a dandy self-deprecating turn . 
far from his effete , vaguely reptilian persona , this malkovich is just another schlub , drinking with his pals and trying to get laid ( incidentally , charlie sheen also plays himself in a hilarious parody of his well-earned bad boy reputation ) . 
as always , john cusack nails his part , handily pulling viewers along even as craig's actions become unconscionable . 
the big surprises come from catherine keener and cameron diaz , both playing against type . 
kenner , usually cast in icy subordinate roles , is terrific as a highly intelligent , extremely manipulative femme fatale . 
cameron diaz , barely recognizable under a mess of brown , curly hair , sheds her perpetually sunny smile and draws big laughs as a woman thrown into extreme sexual confusion after taking a ride in malkovich . 
 " being john malkovich " stumbles towards the end , as jonze and kaufman try too hard to resolve the various subplots . 
additional characters and increasingly complex explanations lead to a cluttered finale . 
regardless , this contemporary " alice in wonderland " is a real treat . 
i enjoyed watching " being john malkovich , " but only later , after reflecting on the film , did its resonance fully hit me . 
at one point , craig says , " do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is ? " 
truer words were never spoken .