do you want to know the truth about cats and dogs ? 
do you ? 
well , as this movie shows us , they make good companions but pale in comparison to the joy and fulfillment romantic relationships can bring . 
unfortunately , there's a giant roadblock set up in our culture that only certain people can get through while the rest of us mill around outside , feeling sorry for ourselves . 
a checkpoint beautiful kind of thing , and janeane garafolo's character abby relates to it well . 
like a certain oversized teenage movie critic , she is intelligent and has a great sense of humor but strikes out with the opposite sex because she sees herself as physically unattractive , and the men seem to be backing her up on that . 
meanwhile , her gorgeous neighbor nora ( uma thurman . . . 
uma being the only woman's name worse than nora ) attracts men like flies . 
as abby tells her , " you burp and they think it's cute . 
you barf and they line up to hold your hair back . " 
but nora's down on herself for being too shallow and superficial . 
we all have our prwhen a man calls in to veterinarian abby's talk radio show wanting to know how to get the roller skates off his basset hound . 
 ( oh come on , any idiot knows how to handle that problem ! ) 
he likes her personality and professional demeanor and asks to meet her in person . 
abby , though , knows her body doesn't match her personality and that she probably won't have a chance with him once he sees her . 
so she gives him nora's body description and stands him up . 
nora happens to be in the studio the next day when the dog man comes by and abby asks her for a big favor . 
she goes along with the masquerade and the three of them head out for a night of fun , abby assuming the role of a goat cheese farmer named donna . 
the dog man finds out even though this girl is beautiful , she's not quite as intellectual or confident about herself in person , but he doesn't suspect anything , realizing he's not living in a " three's company " episode . 
the charade continues , with abby furthering the relationship over the phone ( including a decidedly unnecessary phone sex/masturbation sequence ) and nora furthering it in person , while eventually finding herself attracted to the dog man . 
like sleepless in seattle , this comedy/romance is predictable all the way through , but we care enough about the characters that we root them on and will the romance to blossom . 
the truth about cats and dogs isn't quite as entertaining as i was expecting it to be , but it handles well a theme i could identify with . 
the thing is , i find janeane garafolo rather attractive . 
she's no uma but i'm sure in real life she'd have no problems attracting men . 
i , on the other hand , couldn't attract a man to save my life . . . 
and am rather proud of that fact .