this is crap , but , honestly , what older american audience is going to be able to resist seeing jack lemmon and james garner as bicker- ing ex-presidents ? especially when their supporting players in- clude dan aykroyd as the current commander in chief , lauren bacall as a former first lady , and john heard as the dan quayle-ish vice president . yup , you're talkin' pre-sold property here and , for warner brothers , the perfect fit into their now-ritual grumpy old men holiday slot . for the non-discriminating viewer , my fellow americans is fine . the raw star power alone will have audiences applauding this atrocious political- thriller road-comedy . ( they did in mine , heaven help us . ) for the rest of us , the movie is immediately tiresome . the tone is terrible and the banter is worse . forget wit-- lemmon and garner merely exchange profanities through most of the movie . ( has anyone counted the number of first penis references ? ) sure , some of the bits are absurdly funny , including a men's room macarena joke , the appearance of an elvis impersonator on a trainload of tarheels , and an all dorothy marching band performing " over the rainbow " at a gay men's march . the get there from here , though , you have to submit to one of the most offensively overbearing musical scores of all time . judas priest , is there a single moment of silence in this film ? even the dialogue gets drowned out . what a waste .