disconnect the phone line . 
don't accept the charges . 
do anything you can to avoid the wretched , melodramatic sisterhood dramedy `hanging up' . 
i figured i needed to get in touch with my feminine side , and `hanging up' seemed like an ideal opportunity to do so . 
the film features an incredible palate of female talent , and the capability behind the camera brought to mind such sparkling gems as `sleepless in seattle' and `unsung heroes' . 
meg ryan , diane keaton and lisa kudrow play a trio of sisters who , once separated by career judgments over family ties , must reunite when their father ( walter matthau ) is admitted into the hospital with alzheimer's disease . 
while this may read like an optimum opportunity to rekindle their relationship and reflect with poignancy on the past , the script by sisters delia and nora ephron is exasperating , shapeless dreck teeming with emotional fakery . 
`hanging up' has the overall effect of a tele-marketer pestering you for two hours , while you don't have the option of doing as the title suggests . 
for the first half-hour , the ephron sisters use telephone conversations for a basis of character development . 
this is an annoying and ineffective device . 
cell-phones ring every five minutes , and everyone hurriedly rushes along , leaving marginal time for the frustrated viewer to relate to the sisters' issues and problems . 
if `hanging up' was an apple pie , then i felt as if we were getting the mere crust of the story . 
granted , there are a few genuine and sincere moments in the film . 
but they only help to establish that the remainder of the strained emotions are nothing but inferior dramatic muck . 
the most outrageous strategy in `hanging up' is that , after a series of largely unrealized attempts at character development , we are expected to exhibit compassion and courtesy toward the sisters as they join for a melodramatic finale . 
we are able to identify with eve ( ryan ) , the most open and caring daughter , because she is the one who stayed by her father's side as everyone else moved forward to pursue a impending career . 
georgia ( keaton ) , the eldest daughter , is celebrating the fifth year anniversary of her magazine called . . . . 
`georgia' . 
maddy ( kudrow ) , the soap opera actress , spends time either contemplating her possible path to stardom or nursing her dog . 
ryan's convincing performance and diverting cuteness are two of the more agreeable aspects of `hanging up' . 
kudrow , so delightfully eccentric as the off-kilter airhead phoebe in `friends' , is totally wasted . 
ditto for keaton , who is serving a double shift as co-star and director - a time slot that can be a difficult priority juggle . 
her frenzy is apparent . 
for a chick flick , there is a distressing lack of chuckles . 
the reliable matthau is reduced to chaotic shtick that , given his character's situation , seems more depressing than amusing . 
even so , the peak form of humor in `hanging up' is represented by some of matthau's nasty quips and ryan's eternal battle to have the aforementioned pooch swallow a pill . 
that about accounts for the three or four chuckles you will expel during the film . 
my curiosity has suddenly been tweaked to discover how such a promising and star-studded approach could turn so viciously sour . 
but really , it's no mystery . 
the predictable , melodramatic filth that is `hanging up' is certainly not the fault of these actresses . 
pin it on the screenplay , which attempts to clear up vital issues in three or four minutes , while spending the rest of the running time in an annoying flurry of phone conversations . 
it's certainly a far cry from what one would label as a rewarding experience , but `hanging up' should have at least been enjoyable . 
uh-uh . 
it's a wrong number from the beginning .