first and foremost i think this movie comes to grief at the hands of the pg rating it's been given . 
for those of us who haven't read the james lee burke novel that heaven's prisoners is based on , do not rabidly go out and buy tickets to movies featuring the combined talents of alec baldwin and eric roberts , feel vaguely depressed by the notion of swamps , gangsters with louisiana accents , plots , sub-plots , more plots , and well , really just want to see teri hatcher naked , this is one movie you're going to worry the price of admission over . 
hopeful still ? 
well , let me share my moment of sheer panic , and then the cold enervation of the big let-down when a semi-robed hatcher purrs to alec baldwin , " what do you think of my butterfly ? " . 
butterfly ? , 
i asked myself , what butterfly ? ! 
and then it hit me . . . 
the scene had been snipped ! 
damn you , godless pg rating , show us her butterfly ! ! 
we want to see the goddamn butterfly ! ! ! 
so . . . 
no naked teri hatcher . 
forget about that . 
okay ? 
now . . . 
heaven's prisoners is about ex-alchoholic ex-cop dave robicheaux ( alec baldwin ) who's trying to discover life anew running a bait shop and boat hire business with his loving , down-to-earth wife annie ( kelly lynch ) . 
everything dull , but hunky dory until a plane carrying illegal immigrants crashes almost ontop of the couple while they're on their boat . 
the plane nosedives into the water and sinks , but from its wreckage robicheaux rescues a little pixie-faced salvadoran girl whom he and his wife immediately decide to adopt . 
what they don't realise is that the plane's pilot was also a drug dealer , and that the plane had been sabotaged by the latter's erstwhile colleagues . 
when robicheaux discovers this , he predictably , against the advice of his wife , a well-meaning dea agent , and two gangsters who rough him up , begins 'poking his nose where it don't belong' , we know that the man deserves all the misery he's going to get . 
the question now is whether or not you want to be dragged along for the ride through a tedious , meandering yet utterly suspenseless plot with an unlovable hero as your guide . 
as dave robicheaux , alec baldwin is fat . . . 
no seriously , this is not the svelte , thinking man's hero of the hunt for red october , it is an out-of-shape guy who doesn't look too good in a roof-top chasing scene . 
he's also unconvincing in the movie's dramatic moments , acting with what as far as i can tell is a steven segal-like economy of expression . 
three-quarters of the way through the show , while you're probably waiting for the next scene in a bar where robicheaux contemplates succumbing to the temptation of the whiskey bottle , getting drunk and beating up someone or getting beaten up , you'll want to beat on him a little yourself . 
on the other hand , mary stuart masterson ( some kind of wonderful , fried green tomatoes , benny & joon ) cast as a down-and-out stripper who has her fingers broken is quite a breath of fresh air , with just the right mix of cynicism , warmth , insecurity and humour to be the movie's only endearing character . 
eric roberts as bubba rocque , always believable as the woman-abusing bad guy who knows how to box ( see final analysis , coincidentally also directed by phil joanou ) is believable here as the woman-abusing bad guy who knows how to box . 
and lest we forget teri hatcher's role in all this , this being her rather well-publicised paid vacation from playing lois lane on tv's " adventures of lois & clark " . . . 
she is totally ridiculous as rocque's manipulative and seductive cajun wife , coming across as devious as a mildly disgruntled au pair who's trying to get back at an employer who hasn't been giving her enough days off . 
it's probably safe to say that her day job beckons . 
and at the end of our day , none of this is really worth 2 hrs and 12 minutes of our personal misery . 
the flying inkpot's rating system : * wait for the video . 
 * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! 
 * * * pretty good , bring a friend . 
 * * * * amazing , potent stuff . 
 * * * * * perfection . 
see it twice .